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self-esteem

Value in Focus: Love

As Valentine’s Day approaches, of course, the value in focus this week has to be Love.  If we strip away all the hearts and flowers and romantic candlelit dinners and look deep into our core for the value that is so important to so many of us at a base level, it will be that of love.

Love is defined as ‘to feel deep affection for’.

As human beings we have a basic need to connect to others, to feel and express love for others and to feel loved in return.  This love may be shared with parents, family members, partners, children or friends.  We need to be able to express our love and receive that expression of love from others for us to feel happiness.  That’s where the hearts, flowers and candles come in, as a simple way of expressing our affection.

To believe, that someone loves you, is rarely enough.  It is not something to be taken for granted. We all need signs, evidence if you like, that we are loved.  It doesn’t have to be grand gestures, often it’s the small things that really matter.  Those moments of thoughtfulness and kindness that show you really care.

Expressing our love for others needs to be a constant part of our lives, a good habit.  Rather than just a ‘love you’ at the end of a phone call, an ‘I love you’, at a moment when you’re really feeling that love, is so much more meaningful.

For this value to be truly honoured, we also need to love ourselves, forgive ourselves for our mistakes, be comfortable in our skin and accept ourselves for who we really are.

If we cannot love ourselves, then we do not believe others can love us and we are not able to show love to others; this damaging cycle leads to extreme unhappiness, low self esteem, even depression.

The greatest gift you can give to any child is to show them that they are loved.  Do this and you will watch them grow in confidence and self assurance every day.  They will understand and learn how to love themselves and will develop into loving and lovable adults.

So as we focus on this wonderful value this week, reflect on how we can start some good habits of expressing the love we feel for others in our lives and encourage them to do the same.  Take time to show love for yourself too, in whatever way makes you happy.  Let this be every day and not just on Valentine’s Day.

With love to you all

Lindsay

For more information on Values, please visit my website, you will find a free values identification exercise to help you discover what is important to you.

www.careercoachlondon.com/values.html

Life after Redundancy

Job for Life?Being made redundant can be a devastating time, particularly if you thought you had a ‘job for life’. Sadly, it seems these are no more.

Working through the various emotions you feel following redundancy, is an important stage.  These emotions may include anger, resentment, bitterness, or perhaps relief.  Releasing negative emotions and coming to terms with what has happened is necessary to be able to move on.

Rebuilding self-esteem, self-worth and confidence is the next step.  Even if you really wanted to leave the company, when it happens, it can be quite a blow.  So being able to talk about what has happened in a positive way can take some effort and practice.

What next? Taking time to work out what you really want to do will help you get motivated to start taking action.  Whether to stay in the same industry, try something new or even start your own business are important choices to make.

Having someone to support you through all these stages after redundancy is essential.  If you don’t have that someone, then a career coach can make all the difference both to the speed you move through these stages and to the success you have in finding the right job for you.

If you or someone you know has been affected by redundancy, contact me to discuss career coaching support available.  Having been through redundancy myself, I understand the emotions and challenges involved and I have had great success in supporting my clients in getting their dream jobs.

Lindsay