Some of us feel we were to born to please others and so often say yes when we really want to say no. This can lead us to do things we don’t want to do, become overloaded with work or run out of time to do what we really want to do.
This lack of clear boundaries can contribute to feeling stressed, frustrated and even angry because we’ve given in again or our good nature has been taken advantage of and we are not focusing on what is important to us, just what is important to someone else.
To change this pattern of behaviour:
Step 1: we need to draw on our value of honesty and start by being honest with ourselves. Decide what is ok and what is not ok, trusting our ‘gut instinct’ to recognise when we really do not want to do something.
Step 2: we need to start being honest with others, tell them kindly that we would like to help, but cannot agree to their request, at least not within the timescales they are asking. Say what would be ok or when we could help or agree to their request, but only within the boundaries that are really acceptable to us.
By following these two simple steps, we will quickly find that we become happier, less stressed and so healthier. If we are honest with ourselves, we can then be honest with others and they will respect us more for it.
Changing behaviours takes practice, so give it a go and see how you get on, then reflect back on your progress and notice any times when you could have made a better decision. Don’t waste energy beating yourself up for it, just make sure that when that kind of situation happens again you are ready for it and make a better choice being honest with yourself and those around you.
If you have followed these steps, I would love to know how you got on, so do add a comment below.
Thanks for reading.