stress

Some of us feel we were to born to please others and so often say yes when we really want to say no. This can lead us to do things we don’t want to do, become overloaded with work or run out of time to do what we really want to do.

This lack of clear boundaries can contribute to feeling stressed, frustrated and even angry because we’ve given in again or our good nature has been taken advantage of and we are not focusing on what is important to us, just what is important to someone else.

To change this pattern of behaviour:

Step 1: we need to draw on our value of honesty and start by being honest with ourselves. Decide what is ok and what is not ok, trusting our ‘gut instinct’ to recognise when we really do not want to do something.

Step 2: we need to start being honest with others, tell them kindly that we would like to help, but cannot agree to their request, at least not within the timescales they are asking. Say what would be ok or when we could help or agree to their request, but only within the boundaries that are really acceptable to us.

By following these two simple steps, we will quickly find that we become happier, less stressed and so healthier. If we are honest with ourselves, we can then be honest with others and they will respect us more for it.

Changing behaviours takes practice, so give it a go and see how you get on, then reflect back on your progress and notice any times when you could have made a better decision. Don’t waste energy beating yourself up for it, just make sure that when that kind of situation happens again you are ready for it and make a better choice being honest with yourself and those around you.

If you have followed these steps, I would love to know how you got on, so do add a comment below.

Thanks for reading.

Best wishes

Lindsay

If you wished you enjoyed life more each day then read on for a useful Life Coaching NLP technique.

With the busy, stressed lives we lead, we can sometimes find ourselves ‘going through the motions’ of enjoying ourselves, without actually feeling it. How many times have you been out with friends, been to family parties, or even been on holiday but when you look back afterwards, can you really say you enjoyed yourself or even remember what happened without looking at the photos!

We can have very full social lives but not actually have fun, if we haven’t learnt to ‘be present’, by that I mean, live in the moment. If we are always checking our phones, worrying about how soon we can leave or thinking about what we going to do afterwards, then we are not being present and are unlikely to be really enjoying ourselves.

To help ‘be present’, use all your senses to be in the moment:

– really look at what you can see around you,
– focus on really listening to what you can hear,
– notice how you are feeling at that moment,
– touch the things around you, maybe the hand next to yours,
– allow good smells and tastes to linger a while and soak them up.

For example: a simple walk in the park can be really improved if you take time to focus on the moment. Look at the colours and patterns of the leaves, trees and grass around you, listen to the birds and the wind, smell and taste the air, touch a flower or a tree, focus on how you feel right now.

Using all your senses helps to relish and really live in the moment, to enjoy that time much more; it also helps you to remember it more vividly.

So if you want to enjoy life more, practice this technique until it becomes a good habit and part of the way you live your life.

Enjoy!

Lindsay