happiness

Value in Focus: Wellbeing

After a week off and a gorgeous spa weekend away, this week’s value in focus has to be Wellbeing.

Definition of Wellbeing:
‘It is understood as a state of health, happiness and/or prosperity,
with which one is satisfied.’

I have seen an increase in this value’s popularity in the top 10 core values held by my clients. This is unsurprising, in view of the growth in the Wellbeing Industry in recent years. People are attracted to the word that describes what is important to them, however interestingly it means very different things to different people.

For some, it is about feeling a sense of balance between work and home life, for some it is more about how they feel about themselves or how good they feel on the inside, a sense of inner peace perhaps. For others, it is more about whether they are eating well, getting enough exercise and maintaining their ideal weight and body shape. It can also be linked to levels of energy and vitality. These things, of course, are all inter-connected.

This value is more in our control than some others. In my last blog post, I focused on Love. For that value to be truly honoured, it involves others loving us, as well as us loving others and ourselves. Whereas, Wellbeing is more about how we feel about ourselves and in ourselves, which is much more within our own control and much less about our interaction with others.

Our circumstances may affect our Wellbeing but ultimately, it is the choices we make that can really enhance or detract from honouring this value in our lives.

The word ‘satisfied’ in the definition is key here too. Everything is relative and it depends on our expectations. What would give satisfaction to one person may not to the next. So this is a very personal and individual value.

The sun has just come out and Spring is on the way, that alone enhances my own sense of Wellbeing. Wherever you are and whatever you are doing, think about what Wellbeing means to you and reflect on choices within your control to enhance that value in your life.

For more information on Values, please visit my website, you will find a free values identification exercise to help you discover what is important to you.

www.careercoachlondon.com/values.html

Wishing you well.

Lindsay

Value in Focus: Love

As Valentine’s Day approaches, of course, the value in focus this week has to be Love. If we strip away all the hearts and flowers and romantic candlelit dinners and look deep into our core for the value that is so important to so many of us at a base level, it will be that of love.

Love is defined as ‘to feel deep affection for’.

As human beings we have a basic need to connect to others, to feel and express love for others and to feel loved in return. This love may be shared with parents, family members, partners, children or friends. We need to be able to express our love and receive that expression of love from others for us to feel happiness. That’s where the hearts, flowers and candles come in, as a simple way of expressing our affection.

To believe, that someone loves you, is rarely enough. It is not something to be taken for granted. We all need signs, evidence if you like, that we are loved. It doesn’t have to be grand gestures, often it’s the small things that really matter. Those moments of thoughtfulness and kindness that show you really care.

Expressing our love for others needs to be a constant part of our lives, a good habit. Rather than just a ‘love you’ at the end of a phone call, an ‘I love you’, at a moment when you’re really feeling that love, is so much more meaningful.

For this value to be truly honoured, we also need to love ourselves, forgive ourselves for our mistakes, be comfortable in our skin and accept ourselves for who we really are.

If we cannot love ourselves, then we do not believe others can love us and we are not able to show love to others; this damaging cycle leads to extreme unhappiness, low self esteem, even depression.

The greatest gift you can give to any child is to show them that they are loved. Do this and you will watch them grow in confidence and self assurance every day. They will understand and learn how to love themselves and will develop into loving and lovable adults.

So as we focus on this wonderful value this week, reflect on how we can start some good habits of expressing the love we feel for others in our lives and encourage them to do the same. Take time to show love for yourself too, in whatever way makes you happy. Let this be every day and not just on Valentine’s Day.

With love to you all

Lindsay

For more information on Values, please visit my website, you will find a free values identification exercise to help you discover what is important to you.

www.careercoachlondon.com/values.html

Coaching Communication Happiness Life Coaching Personal Development Values | LWDadmin | February 11, 2013 | Leave a comment | coaching with values confidence depression happiness kindness love self-esteem thoughtfulness values

Value In Focus: Fairness

This blog post is the first in a series of posts I will be writing on Values. I use values as the foundation of my coaching practice as I have found that using values significantly enhances the effectiveness of both coaching and NLP techniques by getting better results faster.

Understanding your values is an amazing moment of clarity and self-awareness. Living your life in line with your values makes you feel happier and more fulfilled every day. That is why I am committed to increasing the awareness of values and the importance they have in our lives.

This week’s value in focus is Fairness.

Definitions of Fairness are: the state, condition or quality of being fair; free from bias or injustice; the perceived appropriateness of something; evenhandedness.

It is something that we expect to be present in the world around us and in the behaviour of people around us and so mostly we do not even notice it. It is only when fairness is missing, that we sit up and take notice. It is only then that negative emotion is generated in us. For example, you might feel disappointment at a minor unfair situation e.g. someone getting a better gift or reward than you, whereas the emotion you might feel at a major injustice e.g. a child being mal-treated, is more likely to be that of outrage or anger.

Fairness is an interesting value. It is rarely the first thing on our mind when we think about what is important to us, however when it is taken away, suddenly its importance is brought into focus.

The level of importance the value of fairness holds for us and the resonance of the word to us will vary, depending on our experiences. It will be meaningful to a degree, so ask yourself if fairness was missing in my life, how bad would it be? How angry do you get when you see someone being unfair?

If you are a law enforcer, e.g. a police officer, a lawyer, or perhaps a human rights campaigner then I would expect the values of Fairness or Justice to feature highly in your personal core ‘top ten’ set of values. For the rest of us Fairness usually is quite important but rarely makes it to the top of the list.

Reflect on the importance of this value to you. Is it honoured in your life? Are you fair to others, are they fair to you and are you fair to yourself?

For more information on Values, please visit my website, you will find a free values identification exercise to help you discover what is important to you.

www.careercoachlondon.com/values.html

Coaching Happiness Life Coaching Personal Development Values | LWDadmin | February 4, 2013 | 2 Comments | fairness fulfilment happiness life coaching NLP values

Values: at the Heart of a Happier World

I have been developing the use of values in my life coaching and career coaching practice for over 8 years now. Sometimes I feel like a lone voice, calling out about the importance of understanding your values and living your life in line with your values, to achieve happiness and fulfilment.

No longer… last night I attended an event called ‘Values: at the Heart of a Happier World’ and was so encouraged to hear about the values work being developed by the Barrett Values Centre and the UK Values Alliance. They have surveyed national values in countries all over the world with astonishing results. They work with companies to understand staff and corporate values to begin a dialogue for change.

It was so exciting to share my passion about values and their importance, with over a hundred other people and pledge my support to join the Alliance and build on the growing wave of awareness about values.

“The purpose of our lives is to be happy” Dalai Lama

One key point made was that change must come from within. We cannot afford to wait for governments to change or influence the national values. We all have responsibility for our own happiness and so this starts by understanding our own core values and making changes in the way we live our own lives. If everyone did just that, we would all feel happier and be living in a happier world.

This might sound simple and it is. There is a free values identification exercise on my website

www.careercoachlondon.com/values.html

complete this to understand your own values and if you want to know more about how to make changes, submit your results to me through the website. Share this with your friends and family, after all, what we want for them too is happiness.

Wishing you all a very Happy New Year

Lindsay

Career Coaching Happiness Life Coaching Personal Development Values | LWDadmin | January 25, 2013 | Leave a comment | career coaching change happiness life coaching UK Values Alliance values Values Centre

Wellness Coaching – ‘You get what you focus on’

‘You get what you focus on’ is a saying that for me
is a very useful reminder to make sure we focus on the right things.

If we focus on how stressed we are, we just end up feeling more stressed. If we focus on how tired we are, we start to feel even more tired. If we focus on losing weight by eating less, what usually happens is that all we can think about is food and eating it!

So, from a wellness coaching perspective, it is so much more effective to focus on what you want (rather than what you don’t want) to enhance your state of wellness or sense of wellbeing.

If we are focusing on what we want to stop doing e.g. smoking, what we want to lose e.g. weight, or what we don’t want to feel e.g. stressed, then we are focusing too much on the problem and often the problem actually gets worse, e.g. we smoke more, we put on weight, we feel more stressed.

If, however, we focus on the desired outcome, the thing we want and state it in the positive, then we are much more likely to achieve that goal. For example, if we focus on increasing our relaxation time, taking more holidays, doing more exercise or making healthier eating choices then with these things in our mind, we are much more likely to change our behaviour and take action to make them happen.

When choosing your wellness goals and activities, state them in the positive, ensure they are things you do want to do and take care to choose things that make you feel healthier and happier.

For more information on Wellness Coaching, please visit my website
www.careercoachlondon.com/wellness-coaching.html

Enjoy!

Lindsay

Happiness Health Personal Development Stress Uncategorized Wellness Wellness Coaching | LWDadmin | March 8, 2012 | Leave a comment | achieve goals change behaviour focus happiness health positivity stress management take action tiredness weightloss wellness coaching

Life Coaching NLP to enjoy life

If you wished you enjoyed life more each day then read on for a useful Life Coaching NLP technique.

With the busy, stressed lives we lead, we can sometimes find ourselves ‘going through the motions’ of enjoying ourselves, without actually feeling it. How many times have you been out with friends, been to family parties, or even been on holiday but when you look back afterwards, can you really say you enjoyed yourself or even remember what happened without looking at the photos!

We can have very full social lives but not actually have fun, if we haven’t learnt to ‘be present’, by that I mean, live in the moment. If we are always checking our phones, worrying about how soon we can leave or thinking about what we going to do afterwards, then we are not being present and are unlikely to be really enjoying ourselves.

To help ‘be present’, use all your senses to be in the moment:

– really look at what you can see around you,
– focus on really listening to what you can hear,
– notice how you are feeling at that moment,
– touch the things around you, maybe the hand next to yours,
– allow good smells and tastes to linger a while and soak them up.

For example: a simple walk in the park can be really improved if you take time to focus on the moment. Look at the colours and patterns of the leaves, trees and grass around you, listen to the birds and the wind, smell and taste the air, touch a flower or a tree, focus on how you feel right now.

Using all your senses helps to relish and really live in the moment, to enjoy that time much more; it also helps you to remember it more vividly.

So if you want to enjoy life more, practice this technique until it becomes a good habit and part of the way you live your life.

Enjoy!

Lindsay

Coaching Happiness Life Coaching Stress | LWDadmin | September 20, 2011 | 4 Comments | be present enjoy life fulfilment happiness improve memory life coaching live in the moment NLP sensory acuity technique stress

Career Choices

The decisions we make about which career we will follow significantly affect our levels of happiness for the rest of their lives.

So how do people choose a career?

Some go for the best paid careers, some go into the family business, some may choose a career that teachers or friends say they would be good at, whilst others may take whatever job comes along and see where it leads.

For me, a better way to ensure you are choosing the right career for you is to understand your career values, then find a career and an employer that are a good fit with those values. This way you will be tapping into your core motivators and you will be honouring the values that are important to you which will help you to feel happy and fulfilled.

If you have career values such as freedom, choice and flexibility then it is unlikely that you would enjoy a 9-5 office job, whereas if you value security, certainty, reliability then this might be the right career choice for you. If you value creativity, beauty and inner peace then a city-based job in finance or admin is not going to give you an environment to thrive in, whereas working from home, a studio or spa may well do.

Public or private sector? I have found that people doing well working in the public or voluntary sector are more likely to have values of making a difference, service and contribution, whereas in the private sector, values of achievement, independence and ambition are more common.

Understanding your career values stops you choosing the wrong career and environment for you and helps you to choose a career, employer and environment in which you will be happy, fulfilled and productive and will thrive and so are more likely to be successful.

If you would like to understand your values better then you might like to complete the free values exercise on my website and if you send the results form back to me online I would be very happy to offer you with a free 30 minute telephone consultation to discuss your values and what they mean for your choice of career. www.careercoachlondon.com/values.html

Best wishes

Lindsay

Career Coaching Happiness Personal Development Success Values | LWDadmin | July 11, 2011 | Leave a comment | being productive career choices career coaching career environment career values feeling fulfilled happiness success

Introduction to Values

Many times through my years in coaching, it has struck me how important values are; identifying ones own values can be a true ‘lightbulb moment’ of self awareness for most people.

Values are the things that are important to us, the core of who we are, the foundation of our lives, our reason for being, what makes us tick and indeed what makes us angry or upset if not honoured.

When I ask people what is important to them, often the responses are things like family, health or money, however these are not values. If we look a little deeper into ourselves and ask: what do these things give us? what do we get from them that is important to us? only then do we get closer to finding our core values e.g. from family we might get a sense of love, support or kindness. From having good health, we might get a sense of wellbeing or vitality. Money might give us security, choice or freedom.

We will find different values in different aspects of our lives, for example in terms of career we might value responsibility, recognition and sense of achievement, whereas in our home life, we might have values of stability, happiness and love. In our relationships with friends, we might value trust, honesty and loyalty. In interests or hobbies, things like fun, growth and contribution might be important to us. There may also be some cross-over, so values like fairness and respect may be important to us in all aspects of our lives and in all our relationships.

All these things may be important to us to a degree, the key is to find out which of them are our core values, the ‘top ten’ values that are individual and crucial to us that must be honoured in our lives for us to be happy and feel fulfilled.

When I have undertaken values exploration exercises with clients, they often say, ‘yes that’s me on a page!’ when they see the list of their top ten values, which represent their uniqueness and the core of who they are and what matters most to them. That new self-awareness and understanding allows them to focus and move forward in a positive way.

Once we understand our own true individual set of values, then we have a foundation that we can build on to construct a life that will bring us happiness and fulfilment.

If you would like to learn more about your own values go to www.careercoachlondon.com/values.html and complete the free values exercise to experience the power of values for yourself.

Lindsay