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Stress

Wellness Coaching – ‘You get what you focus on’

‘You get what you focus on’ is a saying that for me 
is a very useful reminder to make sure we focus on the right things.

If we focus on how stressed we are, we just end up feeling more stressed.   If we focus on how tired we are, we start to feel even more tired.  If we focus on losing weight by eating less, what usually happens is that all we can think about is food and eating it!

So, from a wellness coaching perspective, it is so much more effective to focus on what you want (rather than what you don’t want) to enhance your state of wellness or sense of wellbeing.

If we are focusing on what we want to stop doing e.g. smoking, what we want to lose e.g. weight, or what we don’t want to feel e.g. stressed, then we are focusing too much on the problem and often the problem actually gets worse, e.g. we smoke more, we put on weight, we feel more stressed.

If, however, we focus on the desired outcome, the thing we want and state it in the positive, then we are much more likely to achieve that goal.  For example, if we focus on increasing our relaxation time, taking more holidays, doing more exercise or making healthier eating choices then with these things in our mind, we are much more likely to change our behaviour and take action to make them happen.

When choosing your wellness goals and activities, state them in the positive, ensure they are things you do want to do and take care to choose things that make you feel healthier and happier.

For more information on Wellness Coaching, please visit my website
www.careercoachlondon.com/wellness-coaching.html

Enjoy!

Lindsay

Goal

GROW Your Business – Goal Setting for Success

It is fear of failure that stops us setting a goal, fear of success that stops us achieving it and fear of change that keeps us stuck in the present situation.

If it is fear holding you back, then face that fear, trust your gut instinct and intuition and take small steps of courage towards your goal.  This helps you to regain control and respond well to opportunities to grow your business into the one you’ve always dreamed of having.

If you are frustrated that your business is not developing as quickly as you would like, then try this goal setting framework to help you set a business goal, look at all the options then choose the best way forward to achieve it, thus growing your business to greater success.

Goal
Ask yourself: ’If I knew I was going to be successful, what would I be doing with my business?’
Set a goal to grow your business, make it SMART (specific, measurable, appealing, realistic and timed i.e. by when do you want to achieve it).
State it in the positive i.e. what you want to happen.
Choose values you hold, to draw on for motivation e.g. challenge, achievement, security, freedom.

Reality
What is the reality right now, in respect of this goal? Be honest with yourself.
What needs to change?

Options
What are your options for achieving this goal? Keep asking: ‘What else, what else?’
(Be as creative as possible, do not discount anything, look at every possible option)

Way Forward
Review all your options and decide the best way forward.
Decide what actions are needed for the chosen option, to achieve the goal.
Add a timeline, deadline or milestones so you can monitor your progress, put these in your diary.
Think of someone who can hold you accountable, who you can share progress with and then celebrate success with when you achieve your goal.

Remember: ‘You get what you focus on’.  Focus on the problem and you get a bigger problem, focus on the goal, solution or outcome and that is what you will achieve.

If you would like one to one support in setting goals and growing your business, then go to www.careercoachlondon.com and contact me for a free consultation.

I look forward to helping you grow your business to success.

Lindsay

Life Coaching Tips for Boundaries and Saying No


Clear boundaries help us to thrive

Some of us feel we were to born to please others and so often say yes when we really want to say no.  This can lead us to do things we don’t want to do, become overloaded with work or run out of time to do what we really want to do.

This lack of clear boundaries can contribute to feeling stressed, frustrated and even angry because we’ve given in again or our good nature has been taken advantage of and we are not focusing on what is important to us, just what is important to someone else.

To change this pattern of behaviour:

 Step 1: we need to draw on our value of honesty and start by being honest with ourselves.  Decide what is ok and what is not ok, trusting our ‘gut instinct’ to recognise when we really do not want to do something.       

Step 2: we need to start being honest with others, tell them kindly that we would like to help, but cannot agree to their request, at least not within the timescales they are asking. Say what would be ok or when we could help or agree to their request, but only within the boundaries that are really acceptable to us.

By following these two simple steps, we will quickly find that we become happier, less stressed and so healthier.  If we are honest with ourselves, we can then be honest with others and they will respect us more for it.

Changing behaviours takes practice, so give it a go and see how you get on, then reflect back on your progress and notice any times when you could have made a better decision. Don’t waste energy beating yourself up for it, just make sure that when that kind of situation happens again you are ready for it and make a better choice being honest with yourself and those around you.

If you have followed these steps, I would love to know how you got on, so do add a comment below.

Thanks for reading.

Best wishes

Lindsay

Life Coaching NLP to enjoy life

Autumn treesIf you wished you enjoyed life more each day then read on for a useful Life Coaching NLP technique.

With the busy, stressed lives we lead, we can sometimes find ourselves ‘going through the motions’ of enjoying ourselves, without actually feeling it.  How many times have you been out with friends, been to family parties, or even been on holiday but when you look back afterwards, can you really say you enjoyed yourself or even remember what happened without looking at the photos!

We can have very full social lives but not actually have fun, if we haven’t learnt to ‘be present’, by that I mean, live in the moment.  If we are always checking our phones, worrying about how soon we can leave or thinking about what we going to do afterwards, then we are not being present and are unlikely to be really enjoying ourselves.

To help ‘be present’, use all your senses to be in the moment:

– really look at what you can see around you,
– focus on really listening to what you can hear,
– notice how you are feeling at that moment,
– touch the things around you, maybe the hand next to yours,
– allow good smells and tastes to linger a while and soak them up.

For example: a simple walk in the park can be really improved if you take time to focus on the moment.  Look at the colours and patterns of the leaves, trees and grass around you, listen to the birds and the wind, smell and taste the air, touch a flower or a tree, focus on how you feel right now.

Using all your senses helps to relish and really live in the moment, to enjoy that time much more; it also helps you to remember it more vividly.

So if you want to enjoy life more, practice this technique until it becomes a good habit and part of the way you live your life.

Enjoy!

Lindsay

Wellbeing Tip: Pockets of Rest

With the stressed lives we lead, it is so important to take rest when and where we can.

My yoga teacher talks about taking ‘pockets of rest’ in certain yoga postures, during our intense 90 min class and it took me a while to really understand and value what she was talking about.  Now I find myself applying this concept to every day life.

It is possible to manage the fast-paced living, the multi-tasking, the multi-media world we live in, if we just look for and make the most of those ‘pockets of rest’.  Even if you can’t get away from it all on holiday or take a real break, you can regularly take a few moments to centre yourself, breathe deeply, take time to think and just be.

‘When am I going to find time to do that…?’ I hear you cry, well, next time you’re standing in a queue, waiting for a late train, stuck in a traffic jam, sitting waiting for an appointment with someone running late; rather than stressing yourself, getting angry at the waste of time or worrying about the rush you’re in, reframe the situation and view it as an opportunity for a pocket of rest, when you can just breathe and be, for a few moments or a few minutes. 

Put the world on hold, step off that ‘hamster wheel’ and find a comfortable, cosy place in your mind and take time to think and recharge yourself a little, you will feel so much better for it.

You’ll soon find yourself joining the longest queue, so you can take a moment for yourself!

Enjoy…

Lindsay

Coping with Change

Change aheadThey say ‘there is one thing in life that is constant and that is change’ which can make it feel daunting, however if we view change as just the transition from one set of circumstances to another, it makes it more manageable.

 This week I shall be talking about coping with change at the Wellbeing Group I run in Winchmore Hill, for details go to www.careercoachlondon.com/wellbeing-group.html 
Here are a few tips that we will be covering, which I hope you will find helpful.

 Recognise the impact of the change: it can affect people in different ways, for some its negative thoughts, worries and concerns; others feel it emotionally in negative feelings, anxiety and panic or with tears. In more severe cases the impact can take its toll physically, for example affecting our weight or giving us skin, breathing or digestives conditions.

 Grounding techniques help to regain a sense of stability, such as thinking of all the good things in your life and in the world that are not affected by this change; or thinking of other times when you have coped well with a change and remember how you did it to give you confidence to do it again; or think ‘happy thoughts’ and remember good times that comfort you.

 Face the fear by working out what it is you are afraid of and breaking the change down into small steps, plan forward but focus one day at a time to make it more manageable and give you a sense of control; reframe the change into something more positive by taking a different perspective; know and reassure yourself that the transition period of change will end and a new ‘normality’ will settle you again.

 Emotional support is essential; talk to supportive friends and family who will encourage you through the change; a hug, a smile and a cup of tea can go a long way to improving how you feel.  Understanding which of your values are affected negatively by the change is also extremely helpful and drawing on other values will help to motivate you to take action to improve things.  For more information on values and to learn more about your own, see the free values exercise on my website www.careercoachlondon.com/values.html

 Relax and energise yourself by using breathing exercises, meditation or yoga; get active in whatever way you enjoy, e.g. go for a walk, a run, a swim, to the gym, dance, sing.  Even cleaning the house or washing the car can be good exercise and give you a sense of normality.  Keeping yourself relaxed and energised will help to ensure the stress of the change does not affect your health and will keep you strong to handle the challenge.

 I hope this is helpful and I look forward to hearing your views.

Lindsay