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Personal Development

Value in Focus: Commitment

Commitment ‘the quality of being dedicated to an activity’

People often set themselves goals based on things they feel they ‘should’ do, for example losing weight, giving up smoking, or not consuming alcohol for a month.

There are many reasons why these kinds of goals are doomed to failure, and there are two in particular for you to consider. Firstly, they’re all set in the negative. Our brains work best when focused on a positive statement – on doing something, rather than not doing it. So restate goals in the positive for more success.

Secondly, when we feel we ‘should’ do something, we’re basing that feeling on external pressures rather than internal motivation. As a result, we’re far less driven to make it happen and are less committed to the goal.

An alternative approach is to choose a value that is important to you and make it your goal to enhance that value in your life. For example, if you choose the value of Wellbeing, think of an action each day that would enhance your wellbeing and resolve to do that. You will be feeling better in no time, without the guilt and pressure of unsuccessful ‘should’ type goals.

Think about ways to show commitment to achieving your goal: perhaps a daily diary note, a daily reminder on your phone, a non-food based reward for doing the activity every day for a week.

 Values are our natural motivators and so if we are focused on enhancing a value we will be more committed to making it happen.

To find out more about values click to download a Free Values Guide

Collaboration

collaborationHaving launched a Health & Wellbeing Centre, held an Open Day for a Complementary Practice, planned seminars with 4 other wellbeing practitioners, and workshops with another 2, it really has been a fortnight of collaboration, which has led to this week’s value in focus.

Definition of Collaboration:
‘process where two or more people work together to realise shared goals’

This definition is technically correct, but collaboration seems to mean so much more.  Working together with others can give a great sense of belonging, camaraderie and teamwork.  A sense of purpose can be gained from having a shared goal and a fantastic sense of achievement for attaining that goal and sharing the success and celebration with others.

The support we feel when working with others can keep us going when times are tough.  Tricky projects can be made so much easier when the thoughts and ideas from a group come together.

To collaborate with other like-minded people certainly can be very motivating for those who enjoy working in a team.  This can be especially important for those who love working with others but have chosen to be self-employed and/or work from home, which can be quite isolating.

Collaboration can start small e.g. with one person writing a guest blog for another, then as the relationship grows you can be running workshops in partnership and before you know it, running a company together.

Outside of work, collaboration might mean organising a party together, running a marathon as a group to raise funds for a charity, singing in a choir or being a governor of a school.

As a value, it can be your preferred way of doing things, what I call ‘a value for the journey’ or it can be an ‘outcome value’, something you aim for and work towards.

We might all enjoy a little collaboration, but for it to be a ‘core value’ for us, i.e. in our top ten most important values, then it must be fundamental to the way we prefer to operate and a goal we seek to achieve that will truly fulfil us.

How important is collaboration to you?

 

For more information on Values, please visit my website, you will find a free values identification exercise to help you discover what is important to you.

www.careercoachlondon.com/values.html

Do get in touch if you would like to work together to put values at the heart of our society.

 

Lindsay

 

 

Value in Focus: Wellbeing

waterlilyAfter a week off and a gorgeous spa weekend away, this week’s value in focus has to be Wellbeing.

Definition of Wellbeing:
‘It is understood as a state of health, happiness and/or prosperity,
with which one is satisfied.’

I have seen an increase in this value’s popularity in the top 10 core values held by my clients.  This is unsurprising, in view of the growth in the Wellbeing Industry in recent years.  People are attracted to the word that describes what is important to them, however interestingly it means very different things to different people.

For some, it is about feeling a sense of balance between work and home life, for some it is more about how they feel about themselves or how good they feel on the inside, a sense of inner peace perhaps.  For others, it is more about whether they are eating well, getting enough exercise and maintaining their ideal weight and body shape.  It can also be linked to levels of energy and vitality.  These things, of course, are all inter-connected.

This value is more in our control than some others.  In my last blog post, I focused on Love.  For that value to be truly honoured, it involves others loving us, as well as us loving others and ourselves.  Whereas, Wellbeing is more about how we feel about ourselves and in ourselves, which is much more within our own control and much less about our interaction with others.

Our circumstances may affect our Wellbeing but ultimately, it is the choices we make that can really enhance or detract from honouring this value in our lives.

The word ‘satisfied’ in the definition is key here too.  Everything is relative and it depends on our expectations.  What would give satisfaction to one person may not to the next.  So this is a very personal and individual value.

The sun has just come out and Spring is on the way, that alone enhances my own sense of Wellbeing.  Wherever you are and whatever you are doing, think about what Wellbeing means to you and reflect on choices within your control to enhance that value in your life.

For more information on Values, please visit my website, you will find a free values identification exercise to help you discover what is important to you.

www.careercoachlondon.com/values.html

Wishing you well.

Lindsay

Value in Focus: Love

As Valentine’s Day approaches, of course, the value in focus this week has to be Love.  If we strip away all the hearts and flowers and romantic candlelit dinners and look deep into our core for the value that is so important to so many of us at a base level, it will be that of love.

Love is defined as ‘to feel deep affection for’.

As human beings we have a basic need to connect to others, to feel and express love for others and to feel loved in return.  This love may be shared with parents, family members, partners, children or friends.  We need to be able to express our love and receive that expression of love from others for us to feel happiness.  That’s where the hearts, flowers and candles come in, as a simple way of expressing our affection.

To believe, that someone loves you, is rarely enough.  It is not something to be taken for granted. We all need signs, evidence if you like, that we are loved.  It doesn’t have to be grand gestures, often it’s the small things that really matter.  Those moments of thoughtfulness and kindness that show you really care.

Expressing our love for others needs to be a constant part of our lives, a good habit.  Rather than just a ‘love you’ at the end of a phone call, an ‘I love you’, at a moment when you’re really feeling that love, is so much more meaningful.

For this value to be truly honoured, we also need to love ourselves, forgive ourselves for our mistakes, be comfortable in our skin and accept ourselves for who we really are.

If we cannot love ourselves, then we do not believe others can love us and we are not able to show love to others; this damaging cycle leads to extreme unhappiness, low self esteem, even depression.

The greatest gift you can give to any child is to show them that they are loved.  Do this and you will watch them grow in confidence and self assurance every day.  They will understand and learn how to love themselves and will develop into loving and lovable adults.

So as we focus on this wonderful value this week, reflect on how we can start some good habits of expressing the love we feel for others in our lives and encourage them to do the same.  Take time to show love for yourself too, in whatever way makes you happy.  Let this be every day and not just on Valentine’s Day.

With love to you all

Lindsay

For more information on Values, please visit my website, you will find a free values identification exercise to help you discover what is important to you.

www.careercoachlondon.com/values.html

Value In Focus: Fairness

This blog post is the first in a series of posts I will be writing on Values.  I use values as the foundation of my coaching practice as I have found that using values significantly enhances the effectiveness of both coaching and NLP techniques by getting better results faster.

Understanding your values is an amazing moment of clarity and self-awareness.  Living your life in line with your values makes you feel happier and more fulfilled every day.  That is why I am committed to increasing the awareness of values and the importance they have in our lives.

This week’s value in focus is Fairness.

Definitions of Fairness are: the state, condition or quality of being fair; free from bias or injustice; the perceived appropriateness of something; evenhandedness.

It is something that we expect to be present in the world around us and in the behaviour of people around us and so mostly we do not even notice it.  It is only when fairness is missing, that we sit up and take notice.  It is only then that negative emotion is generated in us.  For example, you might feel disappointment at a minor unfair situation e.g. someone getting a better gift or reward than you, whereas the emotion you might feel at a major injustice e.g. a child being mal-treated, is more likely to be that of outrage or anger.

Fairness is an interesting value.  It is rarely the first thing on our mind when we think about what is important to us, however when it is taken away, suddenly its importance is brought into focus.

The level of importance the value of fairness holds for us and the resonance of the word to us will vary, depending on our experiences.  It will be meaningful to a degree, so ask yourself if fairness was missing in my life, how bad would it be? How angry do you get when you see someone being unfair?

If you are a law enforcer, e.g. a police officer, a lawyer, or perhaps a human rights campaigner then I would expect the values of Fairness or Justice to feature highly in your personal core ‘top ten’ set of values.  For the rest of us Fairness usually is quite important but rarely makes it to the top of the list.

Reflect on the importance of this value to you.  Is it honoured in your life?  Are you fair to others, are they fair to you and are you fair to yourself?

For more information on Values, please visit my website, you will find a free values identification exercise to help you discover what is important to you.

www.careercoachlondon.com/values.html

Values: at the Heart of a Happier World

I have been developing the use of values in my life coaching and career coaching practice for over 8 years now.  Sometimes I feel like a lone voice, calling out about the importance of understanding your values and living your life in line with your values, to achieve happiness and fulfilment.

No longer… last night I attended an event called ‘Values: at the Heart of a Happier World’ and was so encouraged to hear about the values work being developed by the Barrett Values Centre and the UK Values Alliance.  They have surveyed national values in countries all over the world with astonishing results.  They work with companies to understand staff and corporate values to begin a dialogue for change.

It was so exciting to share my passion about values and their importance, with over a hundred other people and pledge my support to join the Alliance and build on the growing wave of awareness about values.

“The purpose of our lives is to be happy” Dalai Lama

One key point made was that change must come from within.  We cannot afford to wait for governments to change or influence the national values.  We all have responsibility for our own happiness and so this starts by understanding our own core values and making changes in the way we live our own lives.  If everyone did just that, we would all feel happier and be living in a happier world.

This might sound simple and it is.  There is a free values identification exercise on my website

www.careercoachlondon.com/values.html

complete this to understand your own values and if you want to know more about how to make changes, submit your results to me through the website.  Share this with your friends and family, after all, what we want for them too is happiness.

Wishing you all a very Happy New Year

Lindsay

Life and Career Success

‘A vision without a task is just a dream;
a task without a vision is drudgery;
with a vision and a task, the world is yours’

Whether it is life or career success we seek, after an amazing summer of London based Olympics and Paralympics, we must all surely see the importance of both the vision and the task.  So many athletes with their sights set on medals, putting in hours and hours of relentless training to achieve their vision.  Aiming for that moment when they will be standing on that podium, seeing the crowds cheering, hearing their national anthem playing and feeling the weight of that precious medal around their necks.

Each and every one of them is a shining example to us all of just what is possible in terms of both life and career success.  So how do we take inspiration from their achievements?

Start with the vision; decide what it is you really want, get a clear picture in your mind and use all your senses to enhance the scene:

  •  see what is around you, the people, the objects
  •  hear the noises and voices
  •  feel what it really feels like
  •  smell the smells around you
  •  taste the taste of sweet success

Once you have that clear vision, work back from it on a timeline, for example if you plan to achieve your vision in 3 years, think about what needs to be in place in 2 years, then in 1 year, then in 6 months, then in 3 months then what do you need to be doing differently today to make this happen.

You then have the start of your plan to achieve your vision.

Draw on your values for motivation, for example if you have strong values of achievement, recognition, support, making a difference, success, or contribution etc. these will all help to fuel your enthusiasm and carry you through the difficult times. For more information on values have a look at the free values exercise on my website www.careercoachlondon.com/values.html

Next you will need to schedule the tasks required, to support your plan, into your diary.  It can help to have a coach, like myself, a mentor or a good friend to help, by holding you accountable for completing those tasks.  Share your vision with friends and family to get the support you need.

Now you are all set to get started, so… on your marks, get set, go!

I wish you every success.

Lindsay

lindsay@careercoachlondon.com
www.careercoachlondon.com

 

Wellness Coaching – ‘You get what you focus on’

‘You get what you focus on’ is a saying that for me 
is a very useful reminder to make sure we focus on the right things.

If we focus on how stressed we are, we just end up feeling more stressed.   If we focus on how tired we are, we start to feel even more tired.  If we focus on losing weight by eating less, what usually happens is that all we can think about is food and eating it!

So, from a wellness coaching perspective, it is so much more effective to focus on what you want (rather than what you don’t want) to enhance your state of wellness or sense of wellbeing.

If we are focusing on what we want to stop doing e.g. smoking, what we want to lose e.g. weight, or what we don’t want to feel e.g. stressed, then we are focusing too much on the problem and often the problem actually gets worse, e.g. we smoke more, we put on weight, we feel more stressed.

If, however, we focus on the desired outcome, the thing we want and state it in the positive, then we are much more likely to achieve that goal.  For example, if we focus on increasing our relaxation time, taking more holidays, doing more exercise or making healthier eating choices then with these things in our mind, we are much more likely to change our behaviour and take action to make them happen.

When choosing your wellness goals and activities, state them in the positive, ensure they are things you do want to do and take care to choose things that make you feel healthier and happier.

For more information on Wellness Coaching, please visit my website
www.careercoachlondon.com/wellness-coaching.html

Enjoy!

Lindsay

Goal

GROW Your Business – Goal Setting for Success

It is fear of failure that stops us setting a goal, fear of success that stops us achieving it and fear of change that keeps us stuck in the present situation.

If it is fear holding you back, then face that fear, trust your gut instinct and intuition and take small steps of courage towards your goal.  This helps you to regain control and respond well to opportunities to grow your business into the one you’ve always dreamed of having.

If you are frustrated that your business is not developing as quickly as you would like, then try this goal setting framework to help you set a business goal, look at all the options then choose the best way forward to achieve it, thus growing your business to greater success.

Goal
Ask yourself: ’If I knew I was going to be successful, what would I be doing with my business?’
Set a goal to grow your business, make it SMART (specific, measurable, appealing, realistic and timed i.e. by when do you want to achieve it).
State it in the positive i.e. what you want to happen.
Choose values you hold, to draw on for motivation e.g. challenge, achievement, security, freedom.

Reality
What is the reality right now, in respect of this goal? Be honest with yourself.
What needs to change?

Options
What are your options for achieving this goal? Keep asking: ‘What else, what else?’
(Be as creative as possible, do not discount anything, look at every possible option)

Way Forward
Review all your options and decide the best way forward.
Decide what actions are needed for the chosen option, to achieve the goal.
Add a timeline, deadline or milestones so you can monitor your progress, put these in your diary.
Think of someone who can hold you accountable, who you can share progress with and then celebrate success with when you achieve your goal.

Remember: ‘You get what you focus on’.  Focus on the problem and you get a bigger problem, focus on the goal, solution or outcome and that is what you will achieve.

If you would like one to one support in setting goals and growing your business, then go to www.careercoachlondon.com and contact me for a free consultation.

I look forward to helping you grow your business to success.

Lindsay

Life after Redundancy

Job for Life?Being made redundant can be a devastating time, particularly if you thought you had a ‘job for life’. Sadly, it seems these are no more.

Working through the various emotions you feel following redundancy, is an important stage.  These emotions may include anger, resentment, bitterness, or perhaps relief.  Releasing negative emotions and coming to terms with what has happened is necessary to be able to move on.

Rebuilding self-esteem, self-worth and confidence is the next step.  Even if you really wanted to leave the company, when it happens, it can be quite a blow.  So being able to talk about what has happened in a positive way can take some effort and practice.

What next? Taking time to work out what you really want to do will help you get motivated to start taking action.  Whether to stay in the same industry, try something new or even start your own business are important choices to make.

Having someone to support you through all these stages after redundancy is essential.  If you don’t have that someone, then a career coach can make all the difference both to the speed you move through these stages and to the success you have in finding the right job for you.

If you or someone you know has been affected by redundancy, contact me to discuss career coaching support available.  Having been through redundancy myself, I understand the emotions and challenges involved and I have had great success in supporting my clients in getting their dream jobs.

Lindsay